Introduction:

First and foremost calm down, pregnancy issues are  extremely common these days and you are not alone. We also need to accept that there is no single solution or a magic pill which can solve this issue instantly.

Every couple is different and we have our own set of physical, mental and lifestyle patterns. What works for others may not necessarily work for you. Although no one can 110% guarantee you of a baby, there are various things that you can do to maximize the probability of getting pregnant. Additionally there are cutting edge pregnancy solutions like IVF and Surrogacy which can essentially raise your chances multiple times.

Top 10 reasons for not getting pregnant:

1. Age:

10-12 years back (say before year 2003)  aging was not such an important factor because people use to live in joint families and in-laws started nagging for a grandchild right after 1-2 years of marriage. Additionally women were generally housewives and they were more inclined to have babies sooner. But today Indian couples delay pregnancy into their 30’s and by that time their peak fertility age has already passed. Body of a woman is most fit for pregnancy in her 20’s (early and mid 20’s). By the time a woman reaches 30+, things can start getting a bit difficult ( and extremely difficult after 35).

Recommendation: If you have tried naturally for quite some time (say minimum of 1 to 2 years) and have not succeeded, start thinking about IVF or Surrogacy. If you delay too much, there are chances that the quality of husband’s sperms and wife’s eggs, plus her ability to carry a child will go down further. Not meeting a doctor will certainly save you money but the possibility that you might be childless all your life will keep going up over time. Come out of your “hesitation” shell and seek immediate medical attention.

If you do not want to meet a fertility doctor in your own city due to social shyness, then go to another big city near you like New Delhi, Bangalore, Mumbai, Pune, Calcutta  or Chennai.

2. Are you guys doing sex on the right days ?? (Yes it matters)

Before you jump to IVF or Surrogacy procedures, first try to take some corrective measures at your end. I mean, you might have been doing a few things incorrectly. An important being – The timing of sex.

Did you know that having sex every day of the month does not increase chances of having a baby. There are only a few days in a month when a woman can get pregnant. Women are fertile only when they are ovulating ( usually 12 to 16 days before her periods begin). Having intercourse/sex every day during these 2-3 days will increase your chances of conceiving drastically. So, do not stress your partner on remaining days, enjoy your love life as and when needed.

Recommendation: Get an “ovulation test kit” and you will know when a woman is ovulating. It is very simple to use, right from your home. This will help you avoid the guess work and tell you precisely that the time has come to start your love making for the next few days. Cost is about Rs: 500 per pack.

Note: Although it is not 100% necessary to make love every day (or morning/evening) as sperms are alive for about 2 days after intercourse, still I have seen doctors recommending doing it once a day.

3. Tried enough .. Get medical checks done right away:

Get in touch with an experienced Gynae doctor and she will recommend several tests for both husband and wife. Usually men go through a comprehensive “Semen Analysis and Culture” test (sperm count, volume, concentration, motility, DNA damage and morphology)  and women will go through several more like “Blood test“, “Pap Smear“, “Blocked Fallopian Tube test“, “Thyroid test” and other hormones tests.

These tests will confirm if just by taking medications your infertility issue can be solved or not. For example, if the quality of male’s sperm is bad (extremely common), then ability for a woman to conceive really comes down. There are medications and multivitamins that your doctor will recommend which will boost his vitality. Do not hesitate or hide anything, be 100% honest with your doctor and follow his advice.

4. Avoid social  stigma or baseless myths :

I have seen so many baseless myths which vary a lot:
Stay away from advises like these.

– Oh don’t make love on nights when the moon is not visible.
– Eat coconut for a fair child.
– Take Babaji’s blessing.
– Problem can only be in a female.
– Keep some blessed powder under your pillow.
– Put some holy oil on your tummy.
– Your horoscope tells that you will have child only by next year.

5. Are you Stressed? Mental health matters:

Quite an  obvious one, therefore I will not elaborate much. Studies clearly indicate that excessive stress can significantly lower your chances of getting pregnant. There is a strong mind body connection !!

6. Are you Overweight? Physical health matters too

If you are obese, then reduce weight by going to the Gym or start morning walks daily. Stop giving false excuses to yourself. Similarly if you are too much underweight, even then your chances may go down.

7. Avoid lubricants

Lubricants ( jelly, oil or sex creams) decrease sperm motility and transfer, so you should not use lubricant when you’re trying to get pregnant, instead have the guy to apply a bit of clean water on his d**k just before entering.

8. Endometriosis

It is defined as a chronic disease of the reproductive system in which the cells from endometrium (lining of the uterus) grow where the’re not supposed to—outside the uterine cavity, causing blocked tubes that could prevent the egg and sperm from meeting, or the fertilized egg from traveling down the fallopian tubes normally (causing an ectopic pregnancy). Common symptoms of endometriosis are heavy and painful periods, pain during intercourse, and mild to severe cramping during menstruation.

Treatment:
The only way to really know if you’re suffering from endometriosis is through laparoscopy, a surgical procedure using a lighted tube to check for cysts in the abdomen. You can have these cysts removed during a laparoscopic procedure. [1]

8. Female fallopian tubes blocked:

Blocked or damaged fallopian tubes prevent eggs from getting to the uterus and sperm from getting to the egg.  Your doctor may recommend you for a fallopian tube test in which a coloured medicated dye is put in the tubes and the results are examined. In a HSSG test or a transvaginal ultrasound scan, which takes place in the hospital will give a pretty good idea if any one of the tube is blocked or if both tubes are blocked. If one tube is blocked then natural pregnancy is still possible. If both tubes are fully blocked then chances of conceiving naturally become zero. In that case only IVF  or Laparoscopic surgery will be helpful.

BTW: Male tube blockages can also occur. Solution is to undergo a surgery to correct epididymal tube blockages.

9. Quit smoking and minimize/stop alcohol intake:

No point in elaborating much, this is basic common sense.

10. And many other reasons ….

– Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) – Instead of ripening and maturing one egg each cycle, the ovaries develop many small cysts and ovulation never takes place.

– Unexplained infertility: Sometimes a doctor will not be able to find a cause of infertility even after getting all the tests done. It is quite common too. Keep trying naturally for a few more months, if you are still unsuccessful then opt for IVF.

** Most common solutions **

I understand, you must be quite overwhelmed by reading the list of issues mentioned above.

Do a big favour on yourself .. stop worrying .. take a deep breath and Calm Down…

Our science has progressed tremendously and there are solutions to every problem, provided you keep an open mind and obviously are in a position to spend money.

1. IVF (In-vitro Fertilization):  (Cost : Rs. 75,000 to 1.25L)

IVF is a process where the wife is given medication so that she produces more number of eggs ( naturally women generate only one egg at a time). These eggs (folicles) are then taken out via a simple surgery.

Its easy for the husband, his sperms are collected ( he will give a clean plastic container to give his stiff). Then both eggs and sperms are fused in a controlled environment (in a lab to form embryos). Ask your doctor if they do ICSI process (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection) and if it is beneficial in your case.

What is ICSI?
In normal IVF, many sperm are placed together with an egg, in hopes that at least one of the sperms will enter and fertilize the egg. With ICSI, the embryologist takes a single sperm and injects it directly into an egg. ICSI is an optional process.

Only healthy embryos (formed by fusing Sperm + Egg)  are placed back into the mother’s womb with hopes of her conceiving. You can do multiple IVF cycles, giving a gap of few months in between. Cost of IVF is around around 75K to 1.5 Lakhs.

2. Surrogacy:  (Cost 10 to 15 Lakhs) – The ultimate solution.

This is usually done after your doctor concludes that your wife is not being able to conceive neither naturally nor via IVF. In surrogacy healthy embryos are placed in a healthy younger woman’s womb, this lady is called Surrogate. Watch this video http://india.surrogacybaby.in/top-10-ivf-surrogacy-videos/ for more information.

A successful surrogacy (i.e. if a child is successfully born) costs around 13 lakhs, if unsuccessful then cost is much lesser. Make up your mind and go for it.

3. Egg or a Sperm donor: (Rs 25,000 to 1 Lakh)

If a doctor determines that the quality of Male Sperms or Female Eggs are not good, you should explore getting a donor. It is hard to convince yourself initially because one of you will not pass your genes to the child, but come out of this mind-block, sooner the better. Having no child because of your own physical limitations should not stop you from joys of fatherhood/motherhood. Egg/Sperm donation is done in complete secrecy and no one other than your doctor and yourself will know that you have used a donor.

Cheaper egg/sperm donors will have a very ordinary profile. Better Egg donors (well educated, good looking etc..) will charge higher.  Personally I recommend you to go for a medium range to higher range egg donor. Ask your doctor to provide profiles of egg donors so you can select. (Detailed profiles are usually not shared due to privacy concerns)

NOTE: Even with egg donation, it is legally your child. Still, read the legal documentation carefully before engaging a donor.

4. Other lifestyle changes/infertility conditions

• Take proper 7-8 hours of sleep. This will reduce stress and also boost your immunity system.
• Every cycle when a women does not conceive.. can be quite depressing. Keep patience.
• Ovulation problems – mature eggs are not developing in your ovaries.
• Irregular periods, thin womb lining.
• Even secondary infertility may exist.

5. If everything fails .. Adopt a child: (Cost – Nothing)

Why not give a good life to an orphan, and you will still have all the joys of parenthood. Adoption is not easy these days due to a large number of childless couples – and all those will seek adoption as their last resort. If you want a good looking child or have a preference for a baby boy/girl then the adoption process can get a lot more difficult. In India there is a preference for a baby boy, but look around you, girls are a lot more loving and caring than boys, so think again.

Legally, you are not supposed to give any money.

Good luck !!

The “best natural age” for a woman’s body to get pregnant is between 21 to 25 years of age. At this age their eggs are very fertile and body completely fit to bear a baby. Between 26 to 30 years of age, is usually the starting point when females start facing minor pregnancy issues because they have already crossed their peak fertility age. Still the age of 25-30 remains overall the best age to complete your family in urban cities because during this time you as a couple should reach at least some career stability in life. Delaying having kids is not advisable.

Completing your family before 30 years of age has great advantages – First you will have fewer pregnancy issues and secondly you will be able to raise and settle your kids when you are still healthy & energetic, and not reaching near retirement age.

Once you hit 30 and you still do not have a baby, big red alarm bells should be buzzing in your house. After 30 years of age things start to get a bit complex. Women should really consider 30 to 35 years of age as their last chance to have a baby (or babies), because after 35 years a very high percentage of women will not be able to have a baby naturally at all. The quality of eggs and ability to bear a child in womb really goes down.

It is easy for couples these days to say that we do not want a baby or we will have it later once we are “fully” settled in life, fact of the matter is that when the reality daunts on them, they will have a very hard time to complete their family. A baby brings a lot of stability in a couples personal life too because they start thinking about their child rather than only themselves.

If you are in your 30s, here are a few things you should do in order to keep your body fit and minimize infertility issues.

1. Reduce stress:

Stress hormones play a very negative role when it comes to pregnancy. Due to high stress uncountable negative things happens in your body, this makes stress as the number one cause of infertility.

2. Have regular gynecologist exam:

Regular visits to a gynecologist will help you to kill problem before it becomes late. She will also give you multivitamins and preventative medicines if necessary. Ask your doctor about prenatal vitamins that have folic acid , which helps protect against some birth defects.

3. Healthy lifestyle:

Too little or too much weight is not good for you. Introduce Walk, Gym or Yoga in your your life. Eat balanced diet and lead a hygienic lifestyle. Having some quantity of nuts, citrus fruits and antioxidant rich food everyday is also known to boost potency.

4. Stop Alcohol intake (or greatly reduce) and Quit Smoking:

Problem with alcohol is that it is very easy to go overboard. Having 1-2 drinks a week is not a problem, but overall most doctors will advice you to simply stop altogether until your family is complete. Tell your husband to cooperate with you on this topic, he should refrain too.

5. Watch when you are Ovulating:

Ovulation is when a mature egg is released from the ovary, pushed down the fallopian tube, and is available to be fertilized. Approximately every month an egg will mature within one of your ovaries. Having intercourse with your partner when you are ovulating greatly increases your chances. Usually a woman ovulates between 12 to 16 days before your period begins. Predicting ovulation is now easier than ever and it all starts with understanding how ovulation tests work. The ovulation pregnancy test is over 99% accurate in detecting the luteinizing hormone (LH) surge in your urine. The LH surge indicates when you’re most fertile and likely to conceive. When a woman is ovulating, make love once a day for those 2-3 days.

6. Minimize radiations near your tummy/pelvic area:

Although nothing has been concretely proven, it is overall advised to avoid long term exposure of cell phones, Wifi devices (like laptop) etc.. near your reproductive organs.

7. Partner test:

Get the semen analysis of your male partner too. It is possible that the quality of his sperms might have gone down too. Similar to females, quality of male sperms also goes down with age. Doctor may also prescribe potency boosting medicines for your husband (like Vitamin C, E and others)

8. Act now:

If you have been repeatedly failing to conceive for more than two years, talk to your doctor about IUI and IVF techniques. Surrogacy comes later if the first two have failed.

9. Avoid superstitions:

Many elders will tell you to go to a saint/baba’s or do funny stuff which have zero scientific value.

10. Other important aspects:

– Tell your partner to avoid steamy hot showers, working with laptop sitting on his lap or going inside a hot tub when you are seriously trying to conceive. Heat around testicles area can effect quality of sperms.

– Both of you should limit coffee and tea intake. 2-3 cups of tea/coffee in a moderate size cup is fine.

– Make love every 3-5 days so that sperms do not become too old.

– Exposures to chemicals, pesticide, especially agricultural pesticides, may harm both men and women’s fertility.

– Lay in bed for 10 to 15 minutes after intercourse, but you don’t need your feet in the air

Also a personal suggestion:

Have 2 kids and not do not stop at just one. Two kids will have a good time together and will prevent you from over-pampering your only child. Tho children will compete for parents love, a single child knows that everything belongs to him and parents have no choice other than continue to love him. I have never come across any couple who will honestly tell that they are happy with only one child. Most couples who have a single child do try for the second one, but they were not successful, unless they have a strong medical, intra-family or financial issue.